Hurricane Break Me

Alright, so I've already told many people how I have arrived it this situation. Most of the time I just take all of the blame myself. Well, that's because it is my fault. However, this started years ago when nobody was paying attention. 

Hurricane Break Me.

At least two years I ago I began to pray something. We're gonna call it Hurricane Break Me, but the truth is the Hurricane part did not exist then. We'll just ignore that for now though.

Hurricane Break Me.

I read a couple years ago to pray for brokenness. At first, I was skeptical about it. And I remained to be. There was a certain area of my life that I didn't want to give to God, mostly because I thought it would involved others and I did not think that would be fair. But, I decided to go ahead and start that prayer.

That's when the songs came up (a year later.) "Ruin My Life" by Jeff Johnson; "Break Me" by Interface; and recently "Hurricane" by Jimmy Needham. All of these songs have to do with being broken by God. Although "Ruin My Life" and "Hurricane" are shall we say....a bit more violent. These involve God taking control of our life.

"Ruin my life and the plans I have made, ruin desires for my own selfish gain. Destroy the idols that have taken your place, cuz it's You alone I live for, You alone I live for." Jeff Johnson

"I am Yours and You are mine, You know far better than I. And if destruction's what I need, Then I'll receive it Lord from Thee. Yes, I'll receive it Lord from Thee." Jimmy Needham

So there it is. I let these lyrics become my prayer. Little did I know that God (directly as a result of my dumb actions, of course) was going to strip me of all that I cared for most. My job, my house, my income, my security. However, it was worth it.

Let me say that one more time. It was worth it.

I challenge you, I dare you to go through the Bible and through everyone you now know that has gone through a period where God broke them down - from their pride, from their security, from their plans, from their idea of life for them - and you will NEVER a person in regret. 

I do not regret this process. I am already stronger, far stronger than before. And it's only been three months. 

Last October I helped out with some school assemblies with Reggie Dabbs. I was just helping wherever I could help. - set up, tear down, errand boy...whatever. I had lunch with Reggie and Steve Tripp (WNMD Student Ministries Director) and I told Reggie that I loved helping and I would love to do school assemblies like he does. Reggie looked at me and said, "No you don't."

Thanks Reggie for the encouragement.

Now, I understand why. There will be a day when someone will say that to me and now I cannot wait to look at that person and say, "No you don't." Let me tell you why. 

You don't want to go through what I had to go through to get to this point. That was Reggie's reasoning for me. The process of God making you the man/woman of God that you have to be is too difficult for most. Thank you God for answering my prayer!

Reggie, you are right. I don't want to be like you. I want to be me. I want to do what God has in store for me. Truthfully, I want the sense of accomplishment and anointing and fun that you had. I want to have so much passion for what I do that I will argue with anyone in the world that I have the best job in the world. That's really what I want.

Hurricane Break Me.

Just so you know, my prayer still has not changed. I continue to pray the same thing because I know that God is not done with me. I am willing to be broken.

Hurricane Break Me.

Are you willing to pray this prayer?